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Per convenire compiutamente cio, e irrimediabile passare dal incremento della propria autostima.
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Note: This is a work of humor. It completely does not reflect on how I am in real life or what I actually think of people. I was in a particularly snarky mood when I wrote it many years ago. I keep it up now because some people still find it funny and send me messages telling me so about once a month. But with that said, if you like it, woohoo! If you don’t like it, I’m sorry.
So, I know you’re thinking to yourself, “Self, there are so many profiles on OKCupid. How am I to ever really know what they all mean?”
Well, I am here to save you. I have compiled my many, many months of OKCupid experience and boiled them all down into a few simple tables for you, to help you with your profile-browsing experience. A team of crack scientists* has gone over each table and thoroughly reviewed it for technical accuracy and statistical correctness.
Ahh, those three little words that obviously completely describe us all. Because really, who can’t sum themselves up in three words?
Now, sometimes, in the process of describing themselves, people use particular words that require some translation. So, to assist you in finding your future ex-wife or ex-husband, I have created a translation table, below:
For the brave and daring who wish to actually read profiles, there are many things to know before diving in.
The most important and primary rule is: Always Believe People. I’ll say it again, but I’ll make it look different: always believe people.
For example: If somebody says, “I’m a bitch,” that means they’re a bitch. They will eat your everloving soul and kick you when you’re down.
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This is a more difficult question, because we’re talking about people’s intentions and beliefs, and not simply where they keep their socks and underwear. Objective evidence of the parties’ lifestyle and interactions provides direct guidance on the question of whether the relationship is marriage-like.
This question comes up often enough that there are some really good cases that talk about what a “marriage-like relationship” involves. L.T.F. v R.B.F, 2023 BCSC 834, is a recent case where the court summarizes leading cases and various factors to bear in mind when trying to determine the starting date of a marriage-like relationship.
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